Mera's Journal
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Have a look in the day-to-day listings of the journal of the stately Queen of Atlantis
1. New Stuff

**Mera's Journal**

 **Chapter 1**

 _Dearest Diary,_

 _This has been a long, long time coming. I am currently in the tranquil and blissful environment that is the Gardens of Ivy where I am writing out what has happened during this quiet and rather chilly Monday morning. It is nearing the time of eleven o'clock from where I'm standing; Arthur is out on a mission with J'onn and the boys; dearest Mother is tending to my beloved little sister Dinah; Charaxes is at Hush's clinic for a check-up, and Linda is sound asleep from an exhausting workout at Wildcat's Weight World._

 _Anyway, things here are going great. I've learned how to stay alive on dry land thanks to Mother's enchantments; Arthur has finally regained his human hand in place of that wet and chilly water hand at long last. Ivy is asleep next to me, she is meditating in her dreams which is some sort of new Zen thing_

 _Oh and also my sister in law Dolphin is undergoing PMS so steer clear of her unless you want a dorsal fin shaped fist up the anus. Strong words of warning, mind you. And that's about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I'm due for an arrangement of water polo with my sisters in the swimming arena_


	2. Updates

**Mera's Journal**

 **Chapter 2**

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's GROUNDHOG DAY! My favourite time of the year and my favourite comedy! I've been doing research on the Groundhog Day time loop and I find the information very interesting_

 _Also I found out from some reliable sources that my favourite actor Cuba Gooding, Jr is playing none other than OJ Simpson in a new FX miniseries called American Crime Story, which is American Horror Story with a crime drama theme. Plus bonus points for throwing in John Travolta and that nerdy guy from that show Friends_

 _Oh and I missed Grease Live unfortunately. But, not to worry, because come this October, we'll all be doing the Time Warp again and again and again when Rocky Horror Picture Show Live airs on national TV. Even better, they brought Tim Curry aka Pennywise, aka Arl Rendon Howe, aka Hexxus, aka Nigel Thornberry aka Frank N Furter, and, of course, Long John Silver as the Criminologist. Whoever is playing Frank N Furter, please please PLEASE don't cock it up. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a longstanding and most exceedingly excellent cult tradition for generations and trust me when I say nobody and I do mean NOBODY wants to see it come to an end by a shoddy live studio performance_

 _And now, I must go and take a picture of dear little Robin dressed as Punxsutawney Phil. Ooohhh, he looks so adorable!_


	3. PoliticsRelationshipsLovelife

**Mera's Journal**

 **Chapter 3**

 _Dearest Diary,_

 _It is Wednesday the 3_ _rd_ _of February, and Punxsutawney Phil has indeed confirmed spring is definitely amongst us. And oh what a delight that will be. Goodbye cold and chilly, hello bright and sunny! Unfortunately, the bugs, bees and vermin will be back so word of warning to anyone in particular; not naming anyone here, who likes swinging outdoors hour after hour, yes Mr. Stoker, I'm talking about you._

 _Anyway, I heard word that the GOP debate is getting hotter and hotter with megalomaniac Trump and Texas-twang Cruz neck and neck, and old fogeys Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and all that; oy, politics is a really big pain in my derriere._

 _Oh and I just heard some alarming news that a film sequel to that godawful BDSM film Fifty Shades of Gray is in development. I mean, what the hell Universal? Haven't you learned your lesson with those flops named Casper and The Flintstones? I assume the answer is no_

 _Oh and one more thing; my darling niece Supergirl has come out this morning and informed us of her relationship with a Ms. Chelsea Leah Cunningham of Gotham City. My earnest congratulations to them both and best wishes on a wonderful and happy relationship_

 _Oh, I wish I could continue to go on, but unfortunately I am late for a dinner appointment with my hubby at The Iceberg Lounge. Ta-ta!_


	4. Happy Birthday Mr BramStoker!

**Mera's Journal**

 **Chapter 4**

 _Dearest Diary,_

 _It is Thursday evening and I just heard the surprise to end all surprises. Our dear author Mr. Bram Stoker is turning 22 on Thursday the 11_ _th_ _. Ooh, I'm so excited for him! Oh, 226 stories and still counting, ooh he is a genius! He could be either Stanley Kubrick reincarnated or a new Gary Larson or HG Wells, I don't know where on Hera he comes up with whatever he writes but my god he is a wizard with his imagination! Look at all the great stories he made in the past few years. He completely revolutionized both the DC and Marvel worlds oh and he also made the Video Games fanfic category much more enjoyable_

 _Oh and then there are his no plot stories, only dialogue only. Brilliant, simply brilliant! Also, I gotta give props to him for doing a parody of Mad Max: Fury Road which is now #1 film of last year. And I wish him luck on all his future endeavors and many more hilariously amusing stories_

 _Btw: one request; can you do like an Aquaman or Green Lantern fanfic? I'd greatly appreciate it. Sayonara!_


	5. Updates part 2

**Mera's Journal**

 **Chapter 5**

 _Dear Journal,_

 _10 more days until springtime! Oooh, I'm so happy! Pretty soon, the sun'll be shining, the birdies will be tweeting, oh yes and all the bugs, bees and all the other pests will come buzzing back as well. Oh and in case you didn't forget, we only have a couple weeks until the big opening of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice. And that film, THAT VERY FILM, will kick off what we call The Dark Age of Comic Book Movies. We had a lot of fun with Deadpool, but now it's time to stop the silliness and let you know what get real. I mean come on, this month it's Batman and Superman clashing together, in April, we get to dive back into the bare necessities with the Jungle Book. My niece Dinah is VERY excited! Then in May it's the X-Men facing the big bad himself: A-Fucking-Pocalypse! Even more horrifying; he's played by Poe Dameron from the new Star Wars movie! It's like Poe himself said you know what, JJ Abrams? If I'm the good guy in your movie and I got very, very little screentime, then I'm gonna be the bad guy for X-Men. In fact, I'm gonna be *the*a-1 bad guy, Apocalypse. You heard me right, the world's first, most powerful and definitely dangerous mutant is finally coming to the big screen. And maybe, just maybe we could get Mr. Sinister… even Onslaught. And then comes Avenger versus Avenger in Civil War. So place your bets to see who will survive for the big Infinity Wars clash, because well, since this IS the Civil War storyline, I'm just saying ANYONE, I mean it: ANYONE can die. Then after we look through the looking glass and have fun with Steve Spielberg's BFG, we kinda go back to the more lightish family friendly fun with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. I mean yeah Bebop and Rocksteady are finally makin' their big screen debut, plus we get Tyler Perry aka Madea as Baxter Stockman, Stephen Amell as Casey Jones and last but definitely not least; the one and only KRAANG! Yes, that gooey, pink, slimy alien inside a robot is comin to Hollywood. After that, it's Universal again as we get World of Warcraft, America's #1 bestselling MMORPG finally, FINALLY making it big. Then we get the return of Independence Day where the stakes are even higher than ever, then The Purge 3 which could very well be the last one. Then in August, it's DC's turn again with Suicide Squad featuring Killer Croc, Harley, Deadshot oh yes and that lovable purple suited clown we all love to HATE. Then in September, um, I have no idea what the hell's coming out in September, oh and on Christmastime, those assholes who made us crap our pants with that lousy show Zoo is now rebooting Jumanji. On Christmas Day! WTF, Sony Pictures? WHAT… THE… F*CK! Robin Williams died last year, for god's sake! And on top of that, we're moving back to Amityville once again after a very, very, VEEERRRYYY long stay in development hell. And considering the tragic loss of the crown king of horror movies Wes Craven, some assholes are remaking his greatest creation ever made: Nightmare on Elm Street. Seriously, it was because of the success of that film that made Wes Craven the man we all remembered him as. I have a feeling he'll be spinning in his grave if he ever heard of this. Oy, I think we need a chance to make horror movies more fun again. Does anyone remember those really cheap B movies we used to see at the drive-in? I certainly do. I mean, really, I think this whole Sharknado thing is killing the genre. Literally. Maybe, I'm just saying maybe we should make a new one. Try to imagine it with me ok? A strange new cologne turns all the hot sexy girls of Los Angeles into literal man-eaters. Then we add some really funny jokes, some campy musical songs and a twist nobody would ever suspect. I think we should call it Vore. Yeah, that has a nice ring to it. It's Species… as a campy all-girl musical. Think about it, Hollywood. Think about it._

 _Oh, and I just heard that my favourite actress Amber Heard is playing yours truly in the Aquaman movie! Ooooh, I'm so excited! All of you guys and girls get to see me on the big screen in all my lovely red-haired glory. I just cant wait. Even better, next year Diana gets her big-screen debut after so, so many failures. Oh yes and then we have yet another Dark Age of Comic Book Movies with Thor Ragnarok which is a superhero film/disaster film. And if it has the word Ragnarok in it, then you know NO ASGARDIAN is safe. All we can do is cross our fingers and pray like maniacs that Sif and the others make an appearance for the Infinity Wars. I mean it, the clock's ticking, Thanos is getting closer and closer to gettin' those rare shiny Infinity thingies and now the Avengers are squabbling with each other all over a lousy stinking registration act. And I gotta wrap this up. There's so much ink on my hands. If you'll excuse me, I must cleanse my writing hands. Ta-ta_


End file.
